Friday, 17 July 2015
Dear Amy Usher
I remember one of our last conversations like it was just a few minutes ago.
My phone vibrated as I received another late night/early morning text from you. Most of our friendship seemed to conducted in the dead of the night when the rest of the world seemed to be asleep, and we were the only people awake.
"You can't give up"
"I know. I don't think I could if I tried" I tapped away on my blackberry.
We were talking about me applying for Medicine. You knew how devastated I was when I didn't get in last time I applied but you weren't going to let me give up so easily.
"Good. I know you'll get in. I'd love to have you as my doctor"
"Awh, that's sweet of you to say. If only it was that simple. I'm sure I have to say I've resuscitated a baby that was heir to the throne to get in haha"
"Oh dear! Better go find a dying baby then! Oh that text sounds terrible lol"
"God I know. On a serious note though, I won't give up just yet, I promise. Just as long as you don't give up either"
"I wont. I just don't think people realise how lucky they are to be able to do the things they want to do. I'll probably never get to do all the things I planned"
I felt my chest tighten as I thought about your text last week when you told me the doctors had told you there was nothing else they could do. The time between that text and the phone call I got telling me you had passed away feels like a blur now. It all happened so fast, and if I'd known it was going to be so short I'd have gone home quicker. You passed away the day before I was due to see you and I'll always regret not telling you all those things I had to say even though I think you knew all of them anyway.
You were and still are an inspiration to me. Long before you were ill I wanted to become a doctor, but knowing someone like you made me realise just how much I want to play a part in helping those people who really need it. When I look at your pictures I'm reminded that life is short, and I should grasp it. Do everything in my power to make it what I want it to be. Be happy and grateful for all I have and the people around me. I think about you every day. I miss you every minute. And I'm thankful that I met you every second.
I can't break my promise to you, so I'm going to apply again. Chaz is trying to help me. She set up a CrowdFunding page for me and everything. But you probably know all that from your cloud anyway. I know you're watching over me and I love you for it.
I love and miss your face.